It's all about attitude

I am exhausted. Burning the candle at both ends has worn me out. I am not sleeping well and I’m still trying to fit 36 hours in a single day.

Although my mood is not as good as Tylyn’s, I still, physically, fair better than her. I guess attitude is everything.

She called this morning to let me know last night was very rough. She could not fall asleep at all. We had purchased a second hand couch; something that was in great shape but still wasn’t an arm and a leg just in case the puppies and cat decide to destroy it.

She had wanted to sleep with the puppies and her room is hot. She tossed and turned for a while and at midnight she had to shower because she was so itchy. I’m disappointed my efforts of washing down everything including the walls and floor at 11:30pm didn't work out so well for her.

She woke this morning with no relief. The Singulair does not help at all. We had tried that because the allergist had given her some samples and we had forgotten to get Zyrtec. I will pick some up tonight on the way home for sure.

She is still feeling full after eating. Yesterday she complained of pains in the center of her chest near her sternum. Her direct quote was, “Like somebody is stepping on me. “

While her demeanor stays happy and an introduction to a coworker revealed she has great positive energy. My mood is not as chipper, I am annoyed when people ask if she is better. No, no change. No, they can’t change treatment. BTW did I mention THERE IS NO CURE?

Sigh.

I received her results from the Barium swallow study. Normal. Interestingly enough I spoke with a woman who has been tested for almost all the same things as Tylyn, many different doctor’s trips, similar complaints. It’s amazing how God works to bring people in your life.

Speaking of faith, mine is a bit faltered. I know this should be the time when I’m strong. This is the time that I sing all the praises to God and his glory. I’m finding that a bit difficult right now. Kind of like I am getting the short end of stick. It’s selfish I admit, because it’s actually Tylyn that is being robbed, not me.

Saturday on our way home from photographing a wedding Saturday, Dan and I were discussing Tylyn and her condition. Dan said that she would be soon in her twenties and needed to know how to take care of herself. I starting crying uncontrollably knowing that I wouldn’t be able to make everything all better for her forever.

Despite her being dependent on me more now, in regards of making arrangements, calling doctors and interpreting results, I want her happy and healthy. I guess I should count myself blessed that I have a daughter who is alive and happy.

I just received a text from Tylyn, she rejoiced in a halfway normal bowel movement. I guess it’s celebrating the little things that get you through because if you focus on the negative, it will bring you down.

Another lesson taught from child to parent.